Something Left
by Klutzygirl33
Summary: AU. Kenzi finds out about her pregnancy only days after Hale's death.


**I don't own Lost Girl and never will. No copyright infringement intended.**

* * *

Kenzi hadn't been feeling well since the day Hale died. She knew her friends were worried about her, but she couldn't muster up the energy to care. Everything felt muted, and it had only been five days. She couldn't even imagine what the next five days would be like, especially since it was a struggle to get through the day. "Kenz, you need to get out of the house." Bo wanted to jolt Kenzi out of her grief, but nothing was working. She wasn't about to give up on her best friend, though.

Kenzi shook her head and stared at the engagement ring that still adorned her finger. "I don't want to go anywhere."

"Please, for me?" Bo nearly cheered when the door opened and Dyson stepped in. "Can you convince Kenzi to go out? She needs to get out of here."

"She's right, you know. You can't spend the rest of your life in the apartment." Dyson was still mourning the loss of his best friend, but Kenzi was scaring him. That's why he and Bo repeatedly tried to help her, though it wasn't working.

Annoyed, Kenzi glared at them but stood up. "When are you two going to get that I don't want to do anything? It's only been five days! Whatever you're trying to do isn't working so just stop. Please." And damn it, her voice had broken. She had been trying not to cry, but clearly it hadn't worked.

"We're just worried about you. You haven't talked much about what happened." Dyson would never forget the horror of the moment after Bo called to tell him about Hale's death. Kenzi's wails had only made it worse. Neither of them had ever heard her sound like that and both hoped they wouldn't hear it again.

About to snap at them, Kenzi suddenly felt dizzy and swayed on her feet. She heard Bo and Dyson frantically calling her name, but couldn't respond as everything went black. When she woke up, she was in her bed. "What happened?"

"You passed out last night, and have been sleeping ever since. You need to take better care of yourself, Kenzi," Lauren answered.

Kenzi groaned and asked, "How long have I been out?"

"A day, which scared the shit out of all of us. You haven't been eating or sleeping well, have you?"

She shook her head. "I haven't had much of an appetite. And I can't sleep because I can't stop thinking about Hale dying. Bo and Dyson called you?"

Lauren nodded. "They did, and I came right away. Kenzi, I have to ask. Did you hide something from us that we should have known about?"

A confused Kenzi stared at her. "What are you talking about?" Lauren was making no sense and scaring the hell out of her.

Bo bolted in the room. "Wanted to be here for this," she explained as she sat down in the bed next to her best friend. She was excited and sad for Kenzi.

Lauren took a deep breath. "It seems like you didn't know then. That makes sense. I ran a blood test just to check that it wasn't something serious – wanted to cover all my bases – and the results came in just a little while ago. Congratulations!" She hoped this was good news for her friend, anyway.

"Why are you congratulating me?" Kenzi must still be tired because she had no clue where Lauren was going with this.

Bo squeezed her shoulder in support as Lauren broke the news. "You're pregnant, Kenzi."

Her mouth dropped open. "What?" She had never even suspected that she would hear those words come out of Lauren's mouth.

"You're having a baby, Kenz. And we're all going to be here for you. If that's what you want." Bo had no idea if Kenzi even wanted a kid. But she was going to be an awesome aunt to this little kid that was part-Kenzi and part-Hale.

Kenzi struggled to respond and ultimately gave up. She and Hale hadn't talked about kids – or even planned this – and now she was doing this by herself (well not completely, but it wasn't the same). And she did want this kid – it was half of the man she had loved and just love. He wasn't completely gone now, and it made her feel better in a way. They had created a baby, and he'd never know. She teared up. "Yeah, I am. I just wish I could have told Hale." And then she dissolved into sobs.

Lauren and Bo both hugged her. "He would have been so excited, Kenz, and you know it. But we'll help you and make sure this kid is loved and knows all about his or her daddy." This wasn't fair to Kenzi, and Bo wished she could go back in time and change what had happened. Maybe if she had been around, shit wouldn't have gone down the way it had.

"You're not ever going to be alone. I'll deliver the baby if that's what you want or I can recommend someone I trust." Lauren tentatively smiled at her.

"Thanks," Kenzi murmured when she managed to pull herself together.

"We're with you every step of the way." Bo refused to let go and placed a hand on Kenzi's still flat stomach. "Hi there, baby. I'm Aunt Bo and I can't wait to meet you."

Kenzi actually laughed. "I'm probably not even that far along yet, Bo."

"That doesn't matter. I love your kid already and I want him or her to know it." Bo was definitely going to spoil the baby rotten.

Kenzi still didn't have much of an appetite (the result of both grief and pregnancy), but she ate some toast anyway after Bo and Lauren wouldn't leave her alone. She was grateful for their support and would definitely need it in the next few months (fuck, eighteen years). When Dyson strolled through the door, he was relieved to see she was awake. "Are you okay? You had us all worried."

"I'm fine. I'm actually pregnant, but didn't know." And she wanted to start crying again. Hale should have been here for this moment.

Caught off guard, Dyson couldn't think of anything to say at first, but he did hug her. "I'm happy for you, Kenzi. Congratulations." He was suddenly angry that Hale couldn't be here – life definitely wasn't fair, a lesson he had learned way too many times over his long life.

"Thank you." Still battling the overwhelming sadness and anger, Kenzi headed over to the couch to relax. Her emotions were all over the place, and she wished she could take back the events that led to Hale's death. She missed him so fucking much she could barely stand it. Would it get easier? She didn't think so.

"How she's doing?" Dyson asked Bo and Lauren.

"Not good. She's happy about the baby – that much is obvious – but Hale's death has really fucked her up. It's not surprising, but that's the facts." Bo wanted to cry every time she thought about the situation, but she didn't fall apart. Kenzi and the baby needed her, and that was keeping her from losing it.

"Well that's definitely expected." Dyson was going to be a great uncle to this kid since Hale couldn't be here to raise the baby with Kenzi.

"I'm going to monitor her closely throughout the pregnancy. If she doesn't want me as her doctor, I'll make sure my friend does." Lauren didn't want either of them to be unhealthy.

Kenzi ended up crying herself to sleep again that night and woke up to a new friend – morning sickness. Bo was right there helping her and getting crackers and ginger ale. "I never realized how much this sucks," Kenzi moaned as she came out of the bathroom again.

"Neither did I." Bo was going to put off pregnancy for a long time now because what she had seen from Kenzi so far terrified her. She didn't think this was going to get better either.

Kenzi yawned and then her eyes caught the ring again. She wasn't going to take it off because it was the last thing Hale had given to her (besides knocking her up, but that was an entirely different story). The grief caught up to her again and she burst into sobs. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize – there's nothing to be sorry for." Bo rubbed a hand up and down her back to calm her down.

The waves of grief that overwhelmed Kenzi came at odd times, but everyone was prepared for them. And the fact that she was pregnant only made it worse, but no one could blame her for it. It definitely wasn't her fault, even though she still blamed herself for Hale's death. She always would. "I miss him. He should be here."

"He should." Bo choked back her own sobs as she comforted her the best she could. She didn't feel like much help, but apparently it was working.

Kenzi went in for her first appointment with Lauren – she wanted her as her doctor since she trusted her – the next afternoon. Sure enough, the first ultrasound made her cry, especially since she had no clue what she was looking at, but it was generally a happy moment. She vowed to take better care of herself after seeing the baby for the first time. She didn't feel like she could move on from Hale's death, but this and her friends kept Kenzi going. "Don't let me hit rock bottom," she whispered to Bo that night.

"Never, Kenz." Bo would never let her, and she'd make sure Kenzi knew that.

The next few months went by quickly. Dyson and Trick helped them with the nursery, and they managed to finally get Bo completely back to normal, something that relieved all of them. Kenzi repeatedly fell apart, but no one begrudged her that. They all missed Hale too. "I wish he was here to massage my swollen ankles," she murmured in her seventh month of pregnancy.

"We do too," a laughing Bo replied.

The baby kicked and Kenzi grinned. Apparently her son wanted to be a part of the conversation too. "We know you're running out of space in there, bud, but there's nothing I can do about it. I can't even see my feet anymore because of you! I wore two different shoes to the bar the other day. And now I'm stuck in slippers!" They were the only things that felt comfortable and fit her now. She was excited to meet this kid and wanted the pregnancy to be over.

Bo giggled. "He acting up for you again?"

Kenzi nodded. "He's very active. Especially when I'm trying to sleep." Sleeping through the night was nearly impossible now, especially since that period of time brought up memories of Hale. It wasn't a good combination.

"I hear that." Bo had been kept up many nights too because Kenzi couldn't sleep. She didn't mind (most of the time) since her best friend needed her. Hale's death was still raw and painful for them. Kenzi still cried herself to sleep sometimes. Sometimes she got angry and threw things. They were ready with hugs (and food) when she was ready to talk to them.

The next two months actually went by rather quickly. Kenzi was two weeks overdue when she finally went into labor (a fact they were all thankful for since they couldn't take pregnant Kenzi anymore) and delivered her little boy after eleven hours of labor (the epidural was definitely her friend). "He looks just like Hale." Kenzi shifted the newborn around and gripped his tiny little hand. This little person had actually come out of her and she was happy. But she was also missing Hale and the grief was overwhelming her again. He should have been helping her in the delivery room instead of Bo (although to be fair, she probably would have been in there anyway).

"He does. He's adorable, Kenzi. Congratulations again." Bo couldn't wait to snuggle with him again, but she understood why her best friend didn't want to let him go.

"Are you going to tell us his name? We're dying here!" Lauren had anxious to hear it ever since Kenzi had finally narrowed down her list to ten names.

Kenzi laughed, but melted when her son cooed. "This is Lucas Beau Santiago and he's thrilled to meet you all."

"That's a great name. I'm sure Hale would have loved it." Dyson grinned at her from his position at the end of the bed.

"I'm a mom now. Can you believe it? I'm responsible for someone else." Kenzi would never be over the fact that Lucas' father couldn't be involved in his life, however. It was going to haunt her for the rest of her life.

"You're all grown up. And thank you for including my name in there." Bo leaned over and planted a kiss on the baby's forehead.

"You're welcome." Kenzi reluctantly handed the baby over – she didn't want to let him go – and watched her best friends with him. Lucas may not be able to know his father, but at least he had a family who loved him and would die for him.

Lucas would never be in the dark about his dad because everyone told the little boy stories about him. And he sometimes comforted his mom when he found Kenzi crying, something she didn't want to put on her son. After the birth of her first and only child, Kenzi found she was able to move on and stop grieving. She still missed Hale and felt guilty about his death (thus the occasional crying jags), but Lucas and her friends kept her going. The good days definitely outnumbered the bad as the months and years wore on. And Kenzi was eventually able to find love again.


End file.
